Annoyed with my in-laws!

Originally uploaded by Mr. Mark

Is it because of my Western upbringing that I prioritize peace, privacy and freedom too much?!? And by Islamic right, I am entitled to this even when I’m living beside my in-laws. So why the hell am I not getting this here?

We’re paying the rent here even if its owned by my mother-in-law so why can’t we enjoy it?!? This might have been part of their house too but its now ours now! Hello, we’re married!!! So why do we keep on being bombarded with such instrusion? Sometimes they take and use things without even asking permission or until there’s nothing left for my husband and I to have (like food). So rude! And they don’t think of replacing to get something back for us of what they’ve taken?

I don’t mind them chilling out our home but there is a LIMIT!!! We need our space and enjoyment too. We did put money doing up the house. Both, not just my husband’s money, more than what his parents did.

When my husband goes out, I am suppose to look out for the place. I would be going against my Islamic marital duties if I let anyone else in, particularly male. So why do my in-laws take a laid-back approach on this? They should know better…but unfortunately they don’t. They’re so ultra-conservative to what society expects of them, but so liberal in terms of Islam.  And when you point out whats wrong, they’ll always be in total denial even when they know they’re in the wrong. I absolutely hate this trait about people.

It all became too much that at one point I told my husband that NO ONE is allowed to come to this place apart from my husband and I. Yes, everyone was banned, including my mother-in-law. Sounds harsh still? How much shite must one put up? And they repeat it even after you’ve mentioned it to them not to.

Well every so often (more like every other day of the week) I have to put up with my in-law’s guests invading my living room just because theirs happens to be not up to scatch/basically a dump (ever thought of cleaning it sis?), with my nephews and nieces running around like headless chooks and out of control and I’m left incubating/on house arrest in my bedroom like just now until the mass exodus. Sometimes I could be locked down inside my room for hours. Why? -Because I can’t greet the guests any old how. You have to be properly dressed and veiled -especially if men are around, including my brother-in-laws. And its a normally a “hi bye” affair due to the language barrier. I can only bring the drinks and tidbits if its family but normally have to knock and leave the drinks outside the room by the door for my husband to get if its his mates or outsiders. There are times when you just can’t be bothered meeting anyone because you know how things would go and they’re not my guests anyways or you’re just so sick of this. its like…so yes, I’m even restricted to what to wear as well.

I just feel like they’re taking advantage of me just because maybe I’m too nice to them and also because I don’t know how to speak arabic fluently. “Mish fahma” (I don’t understand) is just another excuse for them to feel like doing what they like and get away with it. -Must I always be scammed/taken advantaged of just because I’m being nice in this freaking country!

And if I did speak arabic, boy would everyone get an earful!!! Once in a blue moon they do with English with my husband translating.

Its the same with the chores around here, particularly when my husband’s not around! There’s nothing in my marriage contract that says I have to do the entire household’s laundry, cleaning. Just because I help one time means that I will be forever doing that job? How come my other sister-in-law doesn’t have to be enslaved to it too? Is it because she’s Egyptian and has kids?

If I speak out -they think I’m just always trying to find problems, not respecting the family. Are they respecting me? Did anyone teach them how to be courteous, considerate, have some manners, even Islam?

I’m living in a muslim country yet nearly everyone’s so clueless about Islam, freaking ignorant!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

I need to go home Allah, please!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it here. Slummy shitey dumpster of a place!

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~ by nursheikha on August 2, 2008.

3 Responses to “Annoyed with my in-laws!”

  1. What the hell is going on? How the hell did you get into this mess? This is crazy – are you forced to stay there against your will? If so, why can’t your family come and get you and take you back home? Talk to me!

  2. How did I get into this mess? Well my husband is Egyptian for starters 😛 Wouldn’t be here to see the 8th wonder(!?) of the world if he wasn’t Egyptian. I came back just so we could get his visa sorted out. I had to prove to the Australian Immigration that we are literally together because some people here just get married by the Islamic way but not also the legal way. The legal one only took 5 minutes anyways inside the Ministry of Justice once we had our papers together, with only 2 witnesses. We had the celebration after. Ayman had his own place in the family building so we thought instead of renting out elsewhere we just stay close to the family and save some money since we needed it to go back to Australia. I guess being next door to your in-laws mean they get to know pretty much everything you’re doing. They somehow make it their business, particular when we’re having a disagreements. Only takes a minute before my mother-in-law joins in and most of the time I have to defend myself. Sounds unfair but I guess Allah would never put me in such a situation if he knew I couldn’t handle it 😉 I know my family would never rescue me because I again went against their choice. Nothing new. But sometimes it does get too much. I’m just counting the seconds I get out of here. I hate it that much.

  3. hey babes i know wt it means by living in muslim country nd thinking ur inlaws will be well informed nd learned in islam…i do sort of go thru wt u r sister,nd i cnt go home too, all i can say is just pray for patience nd strength frm allah coz thts wt keeps me going. do recite last 2 ayahs of surah tauba on smthing sweet nd make all eat inshallah they will be better towards u..i ws pregnant nd all tortured me emotionally wen i would go fr ultrasounds saying its against islam nd hw i hv no decency coz i shsred my ultrasound with my parents. nd nw they say my son is theirs…wen in my tummy they dint consider him…it makes me sad bt inshallah allah doesnt give us a burden too tall

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