handcuffed by marriage


Female inmate

Originally uploaded by Alice Cope

managed to finally get the net @ home

can’t stand being sardined in another reaking net cafe yet again (it is starting to get warmer here)

for those who still drop by my blog -i wish i had more optimistic news to tell other than this ongoing marriage saga between me and my husband…

what’s new?

well, last night had another row with hubby about money

apparently he’s opened up another account to keep a lid on our spending, or more like his stinginess

i’m feeling really handcuffed financially by this

i have a husband, who by islamic law should be looking after me, but in reality, it looks like just because i’m currently working, not even making more than he is -i have to look after everything -bills, errands, checkups. when we go out on the weekend -i always end up using my money because he’s nowhere to be seen to pay the bill. and when i am with him, he’s always complaining about the things we need when he’s the one hogging it mostly…

he thinks i have no right to waste his money, inconvenience him -yet do i even count what i have to spend on him? the things i do for him without having to ask him?

whats the point of having a wife and a kid in the first place if you’re not prepared to look after them…

what’s the point of even being a man even if you’re going to be like this…

also right now he’s whingeing about how the telegraphic transfer we sent to his brother-in-law has still not hit his account yet. and who has to chase this up when it was his bright idea? he thinks ANZ bank has ripped him off particularly with the fees involved -that when the money does arrive would be less (then how would any bank make any money then DOH!) but my guess is is the Bank of Misr, the Kafr el Sheikh manager there is probably planning to see how he can use this money himself (like what happened to hubby’s little brother when houssam tried to withdraw LE 80000 from the branch and this weazal said only if he has 10% share of it)…DODGEY!!!

so everyone -what do you think? islamically and life in general. WHAT DO YOU THINK A MAN/PARTNER’S ROLE IN A MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE?? (particularly when you’ve got a baby on the way???)

last week…just for a little challenge…we (us, mum and my youngest sis) went to see my other sister & co. (who lives on the other side of perth -35 minutes away, the furthest he’s ever driven) just to catch up on my sis and her boys. her hubby happen to drop by for a tea break before getting back to work with his taxi. whilst we were sitting around, my brother-in-law hamza asked if he’s still staying at the police station or backpackers with a smile (because they did bump into each other at the perth masjid when he was away) and me and mum didn’t know what to say but inside “awkward” to be asked that and he just left ayman in the living room all by himself later on when the rest of us had migrated outside with the kids. i felt sorry for ayman when he told me this later but then again it shows that not every guy supports you hiting your pregnant wife (which hamza was really disgusted with and they’ll put it quite bluntly too, unlike in egypt when they’ll be shamelessly supporting him, like his mum.

he’s also finding it uncomfortable about how my dad’s handling that incident as well…dad hardly acknowledges ayman even when they’re in the same room, yet alone at a social gathering like a wedding 2 weeks ago.

but we then set off to cottlesloe beach to take our mind off things and he mentioned that that was the best place to have my birthday celebrations coming up in a few weeks time…

sometimes i think -why am i always faced with so many contradictions, complexes…

i feel like i’m being swallowed by them, not tranformed to something better…its so frustrating…

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~ by nursheikha on December 6, 2008.

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