“Allah is with the weakest”

These were the last words from Sheikh Madgy, as we met up for coffee after work to discuss in what ways we could salvage and resuscitate our marriage and for me to decide whether I or not I should retract from my withdrawal of my sponsorship of his spousal visa. This was the decider.

We (Ayman and I) had agreed just minutes before to commit to a little exercize: wear black sunny’s to see and point out the good out of each so that when we do have our moments together, that we have more things to celebrate, be happy and proud about being a group effort, rather than a sole effort and thats when I broke down in tears, because it hurt me so much and wishing this so much just for our relationship to be better.

Ayman’s natural and expected response from this was -“what the-what’s she crying about now”, in a mocking, ridiculing way and thats when Sheikh Magdy stepped and said, “Allah is the with the weakest. One of the weakest is women, your wife. Do not ever hurt her, make her cry in any way, make her feel pain because when she makes a doa, Allah will answer it instantly”…and that’s when Ayman’s face, reflexes froze in fear. I think it hit him that he’s been wrong on this time.

In those few moments, I saw someone transform from being obnoxious, macho, arrogant, heartless, non-empathetic melt to a delicate, caring mouse. I could not believe my eyes.

As we wallked out, he didn’t want me to walk by myself but asked if he could hold my hand to symbolize that he wanted us walk together in this, not alone again.

I guess he thought by getting an Egyptian sheikh that maybe he would side his way, but it was the same message as what Sheikh Muhammad, a South African from the Mirrabooka Mosque, in that he really has to care about my needs -if its not met, that I would naturally feel exploited, neglected, to some extent -violated, particularly when he’s looking outside to seek satisfaction.

Sheikh Magdy also said, when the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w left this world, he left behind not 1 but 9 satisfied wives. He made time being a leader, being a husband, being a teacher, a father, etc -all with balance.

Everyone has their haqq, their right, which must be fulfiled and the one needing it most in Ayman’s life is myself and the baby.

He complained that he does give his all to me but I responded, he’s not really here with me and thats when Sheikh Muhammad explained to Ayman that you can be home with your wife but really you are still outside.

Today, he dropped by the house just to spend some time before going on a 5 day jamaah trip around W.A. aka soul-replenishing boot camp to revive his life and Sheikh Magdi promised, they’d take take care of him.

When they informed me of this yesterday, Ayman had hoped I’d object because he thought since I suffer from “severe” seperation anxiety, that I’d go out of my way to stop this but he was surprised that I would agree and say “Go!!!”, because this was something I have been making doa/wishing for for ages.

I was not expecting when I asked Allah to help, look after me and the baby, to give us the best, that this would be one of his responses.

Sheikh Magdy only replied, “When someone loves you, they would want you to have what they have and love”.

Ayman still doesn’t understand just how much I love him.

Last Saturday, went on a helipcopter scenic flight from Burswood. It was fab, minus the airsickness. If they had flown for another 5 minutes, I would have surely vomitted. Ayman came along because he wanted to make sure I wasn’t the only one alone with the pilot. On that day, we shared the flight with a granny and her granddaughter who also happen to be having a birthday. Was so good being able to be in the air, 30 minutes to escape from reality, to feel estatic again.

That night, we stayed at the Hyatt hotel with a river view. I couldn’t help but splurged on the mini-bar and room service. Was expecting it to be 5 star but even any cafe/restaurant could do just the same. The bed wasn’t sleepable either. Too many duck feathers.

On my actual birthday, there was a non-stop barrage of nasty customers. Thought we’d go to Arirang Korean restaurant on Barrack St because I’d always wanted to BBQ korean style. When we got there, Ayman decided to show off his Korean which projected overly friendliness/willingness to the waiters and that basically ruined the day. Not a nice way to spend your birthday when you’re husband’s trying to impress the waiters and forget that you are there.

That’s when I told him -does he ever know his limit!

So we’ll see what this jama’ah trip will bring.

~ by nursheikha on December 25, 2008.

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