No time to play

No time to play

Originally uploaded by lmelcon

i feel like there’s just not enough time in a 24 hour a day clock that i have to remind myself that i have to eat…because i’m so busy trying to make sure baz is ok…feeding right…to pray…catch up with the real world so much that just watching the 6pm news and squeezing in the simpsons is a luxury, pampering myself! am barely sleeping…

so much for the boredom i felt when i was pregnant…

i do miss that feeling of being pregnant again…

i mean i feel freer now…especially being able to move, to be intimate again, my moods are more stabilized…but i guess you do feel special and the anticipation about what you might be getting in 9 months…the exhileration, adrenalin rush inside despite being like a bouncing ball like that blue girl in the willy wonka choc factiry movie…its really something…

but don’t get me wrong…I am enjoying the many surpirses baz throws at me daily…can still remember the day we went home for the first time as a family and i was sitting at the back with baz…he was holding my finger tightly with his hands, wondering where he’s going to because he was so mystified by the lights as we cruised on the mitchell freeway home…and to now see him responding with a smile instead of a frown -it is beautiful…but i guess now its more of living with reality…the responsibility for this child…which i feel is daunting, at times overbearing with or without his dad…

~ by nursheikha on May 23, 2009.

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