baby magnet




fridge baby magnets

Originally uploaded by catancaster

just noticed something…

been doing a lot of shopping lately to save up on trips later bcoz i’ve no car and can’t drive anyways and don’t always feel good leaving home without baz but, but everywhere i go -there’s always some kid/baby trying to get my attention and strive up a baby conversation with me, instead of you usually starting up conversations with them -and this is without baz. amazing!

ayman did drop by briefly to get his towel last night, much to dad’s disapproval…he’s now definitely banned from this house but i am missing him…

that day before we had the fight, i’d gone grocery shopping…now i’ve got food in the fridge and freezer that can literally last for 3 weeks…and i normally enjoy eating together…

it does feel a lot more peaceful because i can now concentrate on looking after baz…its just the graveyard shifts that’s still painful but other than that can at least work on einstein-ing him up…have already bought pop-up, sound books, educational toys, games we can play…but its hard taking pics of baz every day when there’s pics of his dad playing with him, feeding him still on my moblle and it makes me wish we were one preferably and wishfully happy family…

had told centrelink we’re now seperated…guess thats the first of legalities…dad said he’s camping out at the mosque but i wonder for how long since he will run out of money…

why am i worried about him anyways…

maybe its all seperation anxiety i’m experiencing since i hate being alone…

but then again looking back in all my past relationships i wondered why i always put myself in the hurt game…if i can’t bear the pain why am i in one anyways…

all came close to the ideal but i always felt like i fell short, was inadequate…bu at least in ayman’s case -i was true to my heart more….

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~ by nursheikha on May 29, 2009.

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