one week after seperation…




Lonely Fish 😦

Originally uploaded by Alooy

can’t believe it was just a week ago i was sitting in this room having an argument about why ayman was lazy to take care of me…now its only replaced by baz crying out for milk…

i’ve only seen glimpses of ayman, and that was because he wanted to have a peep at baasil but that was it…no replies to my sms…no word as to where he’s staying (just in case of an emergency) -but word is (from my brother in law) that he’s staying in morley with a mate…

can’t believe this is it…that this is how its going to be from now on…and i’m feeling a little scared…a little anxious…a little lonely an vulnerable because i don’t know whats in store for me and baz…

i’m scared…and i’m going to have to move on without the needing of someone close to me aside from baasil…to do without needing love because i don’t think i can ever have anyone love me as i am…i have too much baggage…i cant even expect too much from baz…

but i know i need to be strong for him…

the day has come when instead of filling the void within me by another person, i have do so entirely myself…because i don’t know if i’m strong enough, or beautiful enough…

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~ by nursheikha on July 31, 2009.

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