before/after’s (starting weight loss regime)

Originally uploaded by dothezonk

will be putting up one of these weight loss before/after pics soon…

after seeing those eid pics of me and baz makes me feel disappointed with how big i’ve ballooned…

i’ve gone as big as this girl -134kg…i’m puffing out just by running from one end of the house to another, can barely walk to the shops…have to stop a few times even with baz in the pram to catch my breathe when before would enjoy the stroll, the breeze…i miss my curvaceous curves which has been buried under a mountain range of fat…all this and i’m barely eating…not because i’m intentionally doing so but just don’t have the appetite of having anything and because i’m still down about what happened with ayman the other day…

i now feel physically unattractive and can’t supressed by sadness and worry with food any more…i need to break free…

its been hard focussing on my studies as well because i’m worrying too much about ayman’s fidelity…trying to get the truth when he’s not wanting to own up to anything…

but i know my studies are another way out…another freedom from me having to rely on others particularly when it comes to money…for me to be able to take reins over something…

baz is still in red blotches…he just had his head shaved last week and he’s still very dry from head to toe…ayman took him to the chemist/docters and they said the eczema’s hereditary -thanks mum…even his cousins have problems with it that my sis said he’s now slapping elecon on baby mo…so thats another worry of mine…but he’s getting more tummy time and is starting to partially roll…

mum will be going to hajj on november 5th…first to singapore and then to jeddah and will be coming back 2 months later so meaning i won’t have any extra hands till then since my sisters and bro will be working…

just ordered my pack of celebrity slim last night so expecting that in a day or so…figured i’m not eating much anyways so the shakes would be manageable and have to start from somewhere anyways…got sold on trinny and sussanah…

http://www.celebrityslim.com.au/

have the wii active at home since the weather’s getting quite hot and i can’t run around in a tank top and shorts like other people…

i have to start changing the way i see food and working out or else i’ll start looking like a whale…

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~ by nursheikha on October 20, 2009.

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