new balance

Yoga ~ Balance

Originally uploaded by sunsinger

felt weird waking up on my own, even going to sleep on my own because i left baz overnight with mum since its the start of the week and he always makes it a tad difficult for me to sleep…

listening to baz, jas and mel (92.9 fm) managed to fill the void, loneliness…

i did message annie (my bangledeshi team/lunch buddy) about what had happen yesterday, did catch up with me in person and it was what she said was what brought about the floodgates again -“don’t worry mala, Allah will give you someone better. ayman doesn’t deserve you”…and then i realised that there was nothing that i could have done more to make this marriage work because i did practically everything, my best, my all to this marriage -that Allah had predestined for me…i still love the man who destroyed me…but i deserve so much better…

i could spend the whole day totally absorbed with the world of banking enquiries from customers but then i’ll end up coming home and crying my eyes out to get rid of the loneliness and helplessness from a broken home, an unfulfilling marriage so it was better that i speak to a professional and the view was quite good too -facing the swan river…

she pointed out that i need to forgive myself, that its time to love, nurture myself -which is next week’s homework for when i see her…of all the counsellers -she was the most neutral, objective, positive -which is something different

the more i hang out with baz on the weekends the more he amazes me…he pics up things so quickly and has a mind of his own -especially when things don’t go his way…

is starting to pick up on colours when i pointed out the many colours of things around him and paired it up with my multicoloured ladybug pyjamas…

when i’m around i noticed he’s more clingy and whingey…if i’m around he’d only want me and totally forget everyone including his grandmother who is mostly looking out for him these days…and he makes a fuss-is more vocal over everything…am hoping this doesn’t get any worse…and i have to somehow teach him how to enjoy his own company because he hates being left alone…


~ by nursheikha on June 8, 2010.

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